Back in the day, baptismal services often happened out of doors. A river or small lake worked just as well as the pre-fabricated baptismal pools that are used today.
That was the case on this particular day. A large crowd had gathered along the ditch bank. They were singing gospel hymns in between cheering and praising God for each baptized convert as they were ushered in and out of the chilly waters.
The preacher happened to notice the local drunk stumbling down the levee towards the group from his position out in the water. He called out to him and after getting his attention, motioned for him to come join him.
The crowd watched in anticipation as he waded clumsily out into the steadily flowing current. Eventually, he made it to the preacher, bottle in tow.
Very quickly, the zealous minister expertly positioned the drunk’s frame readying it for submersion. And down he went.
When he pulled him back up, the drunk was stunned and could say nothing, his eyes wide with panic.
“Have you found Jee-sus?” The pastor inquired firmly as the crowds gasped in anticipation.
“No sir.”, the drunk said stupidly.
Undeterred, he forced him under again. This time, the preacher left him there for twice as long as before. A few onlookers began to raise their hands in disbelief.
After pulling him out of the water again, he inquired with the same question, “Have you found Jee-sus?”
“No. No sir!”, the drunk said decidedly as he was beginning to bring his situation quickly into focus.
One final time, the preacher submerged the drunk, only to leave him under for even longer. The crowd reacted wildly in disbelief and excitement as their anticipation built towards a spiritual climax.
Finally in what seemed like a full minute, the preacher raised the man’s frame with such force that the dark waters sprayed upwards. The two men looked at each other intently. And once again, the preacher inquired fervently, “Son, have you found Jee-sus?”
The drunk then broke free of the preacher’s tight grip. In between gasps, he found himself looking around at the onlookers who were embroiled with excitement. A few moments passed before the scene fell quiet. He then turned to the preacher and yelled, “ARE YOU SURE THIS IS WHERE HE FELL IN?”
