This is in many ways, a continuation of this post. It is also related to this one.
This past week, I was publicly scorned and humiliated in front of many of my neighbors.
Ang and I live in a community of 81 homes. We've lived in this particular 'hood for 10.5 years. I've served my fellow homeowners for 7 of those years as their homeowners' association president. For those of you not from the states, you can read about these entities here.
As an architect, I've always believed myself to be well qualified to serve in this position. Plus, I had the work ethic needed to manage the organization month to month.
Overall, the successes had outweighed the frustrations during my tenure. Frankly, the majority of the disappointments came from fellow Board members who were either too lazy to follow through with their duties or secretly dipping into the general fund to put gas in their car.
I had spent hundreds and hundreds of hours of volunteer time dedicated to this organization prior to last Tuesday night.
But that's about to change. I am no longer serving on the Board of Directors in any capacity.
There were / are too many sharks in this tank for me. I'm wounded and needing emergency care.
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One of the "highlights" of junior high school was having a peer label me as gay in front of a girl I had eyes for. This particular girl was known for her forked tongue and unfortunately I'd been assigned a desk adjacent to her (and the girl I admired) based on the alphabetical order of our last names. After the deed was done (purposefully and within earshot), I was so humiliated that it took every fiber of my being not to lunge at her. All I could think about was retaliating by causing her as much physical pain as she had caused me emotionally.
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One of the primary ways to influence pagans is by taking the necessary risks to gain exposure within their lives. Pagans like Christians are nothing more than sheep. Sheep are unintelligent creatures who willingly meander into dangerous situations time and time again, though Christians subscribe to the good shepherd as their leader. Pagans either look to themselves or an idol for guidance, therefore pagans "truth" is either fluid or outright heretical. Because of this, they are never truly at peace with the path they've chosen. And Christians frankly make them very uncomfortable because if Christ followers know anything, they know true peace.
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The lesbians that I talked about in the post referenced above were the ringleaders in ousting me from my elected position. Their strategy was to label me as a barracuda. And it worked beautifully. The majority rallied around these ladies and relished in my defeat.
Ding, dong, the witch is dead!
After everyone had left the meeting, Ang drew close. She was so angry at the proceedings, but ultimately more concerned with me. I broke down for just a few minutes before gathering everything up to leave. I truly felt like I'd been kicked repeatedly in the teeth.
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When I told my parents that I was gay, I remember the sense of relief from just walking through that experience. Though we never talked about it (at length) again, it served as a catalyst for me to open up to more and more individuals. Ultimately, had that experience not occurred, this blog most certainly wouldn't exist.
Had the experience that I had Tuesday night not occurred, I would likely never take any future risks involving either public service or sincerely reaching out to any stranger(s) at hand that the Lord happens to bring into my path. Why? Because righteous defeat and scorn, when blanketed in God's will, breeds abject dependance on Christ both through the storm and beyond. And whose job is it to tell these about the saving grace of Christ other than my own?
Thanks be to God for being my anchor and my hiding place during this difficult time.
Please pray for my neighbors and for the recently elected Board of Directors of our homeowners' association.
