My mother drives a “near-luxury” car. “Near-luxury” cars are just that, within the automotive food chain. My first recollection of reading about a “near-luxury” car was one offered by Toyota through their Lexus brand back in the late ‘80s. The car was dubbed the “ES”. Essentially, it was / is a gussied up Camry. By gussied up, I mean, dressed up. The sheetmetal and interior were / are all new to the car and it came / comes with many standard luxury features found on the flagship “LS” sedan, but essentially it was / is a front wheel drive family car with a lot of heavily applied cosmetics.
The flagship “Lexus LS” sedan was / is not based on any other automotive platform (that I know of). It was / is designed and built from the ground up as a true luxury sedan. This car competes with the upper echelon of luxury cars that are manufactured primarily in Europe and Japan.The “near-luxury” automotive class offers many choices for American consumers. These cars are markedly less expensive than their big brothers yet still offer a lot of the same panache, but they do not come close to offering the consumer or his passengers an equivalent driving experience, but if you’ve never driven the flagship car, you’re not any worse for wear. It’s only when that occurs that you realize just how naive you’ve been to think that “near luxury” is actually anything more than that.
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When I was a teenager, my sexual fantasy life served as a repository of experiences filled with unadulterated fulfillment and pleasure. Many of these fantasies were ongoing episodic affairs within my psyche. All of them involved a platonic relationship that eventually developed into a torrid sexual one. Sometimes, these fantasies involved real men, and at other times they involved very soft porn (risque greeting cards, Chippendale calendars, etc.).
The impact of these lustful fantasies on my life cannot be downplayed. From the age of 12 to age 17, I partook of a steady diet of this kind of thing…sometimes two or three times a day as a way to cope with my own emotional turmoil. And, honestly, the physical pleasure experienced during these times was more intense than just about anything I’ve ever experienced.
It was only when I started college that I began to willingly de-couple my mind from sexual fantasies mainly due to my desire to attempt to address my internal self-loathing. I knew deep down that I couldn’t come to grips with my physical / emotional self without relinquishing my dependence on this secret space.
Have you ever had an orgasm that literally felt like someone had plunged a knife through your heart? Such pleasure that you find yourself holding all of the air you can muster into your lungs whilst screaming silently into the darkness? Pleasure that increases exponentially as you replay (and build upon) the fantasy again and again within your mind over the course of a day…as it becomes more and more detailed and intense? Have you gravitated to one particular porn video clip or image that warrants re-visiting multiple times in order to re-live the "experience" over and over in an attempt to wring from it every available drop of pleasure?
What would have happened to Rob had any of these fantasies become reality? Would the experiences have been as pleasurable?
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A gay friend of mine, who’s also married with children, has had numerous sexual encounters with men over the course of his life. One thing I’ve learned from him is that just because you have an idea in your own mind as to what will bring you physical pleasure, doesn’t necessarily mean the other party will agree. And, the other party has needs and wants of their own. Real gay sex is just that…real for both parties involved, for better or worse.
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It’s rare that I delve into sexual fantasy now, but it does happen on occasion. I shouldn’t say it that way. That sounds like it came out of nowhere and hit me over the head. That’s obviously not the case. It’s rare that I choose to step foot inside the pleasure dome of my mind giving myself ample opportunity to lust after real men, porno men, or some amalgamation of the two.
That’s a much more accurate and faithful statement.
But, I can tell you this, one isolated experience within the dome ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS invokes a hunger to return for more.
Sinful behavior works in that regard.
Is it possible to masturbate without entering into the dome?
How?
How?
Start by focusing on the act itself. Second, only masturbate when your mental cache is empty.
The first objective may not be possible for everyone. I know of men who abhor “having sex with themselves”. They believe in their hearts that even masturbation without lust is wrong. To them it is a misuse of their bodies. Bodies that were meant to be joined together in intercourse.
The second objective requires, albeit demands, no ingestion of porn for a lengthy period of time. Despite the fact that titillating images are widespread, you must be determined to not follow their trail.
Is it possible for young men to masturbate themselves without lusting? I don’t know, but I seriously doubt it. I’ll address that issue more within a future post.
Where does God come into play within this very popular male pastime? Like everything else related to Christianity that isn't specifically mentioned in the Bible, it’s helpful to Christians to follow the convictions of the Holy Spirit.
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Is it worth it? Is it worth it to “turn” your thought life / your penis over to God. Is it worth being obedient to his will?
When you’ve experienced “near luxury” via the pleasure dome, it’s hard to give up. It is an anecdotal medication that ultimately has many crippling side effects, but IT IS SO VERY PLEASURABLE! Using it as I did throughout my teenage years, I found myself sustained but restless. I could never get enough. There was no reason to move forward. No reason to grow up. The primary side effect was my inability to stop looking for the next “archetype man” to bring to my fantasy party. At times, this served to divert my attention from God’s will relative to other areas within my life. Even participating in the pleasure dome in small doses was enough to cause me to make serious missteps within the real world.
So where are you at today? Do you take delight in participating in the seductions of the pleasure dome? Do you carry out vivid sexual fantasies within your mind as you masturbate yourself? Do these fantasies involve acquaintances, friends, co-workers, models, actors? Are your fantasies episodic? Do you take mental snapshots of your next “victim” as you move through your life, whether they be at the gym or walking down the street or mowing the lawn next door? Do you use internet porn (or otherwise) to masturbate to? Are you following the career(s) of specific porn stars? Do you chat or message others anonymously who share your same admiration? Do you secretly worship specific body types? Do you have fetishes?
Where is all of this leading?
The pleasure dome leads to nowhere. It is the last stop. You can climb the walls / ceiling with your lover(s) for as long as you’d like, but there’s no way forward. And good luck finding the exit during a heated, sordid narrative.
Stop partying. Grow up. Go paint or write or sculpt or volunteer. Invest your imagination into something that pleases God. Then, perhaps come back to masturbation, but do it without your head (the one containing your brain).
Leave the pleasure dome behind. Only then can you make yourself available to become what God intended you to be: his flagship, representing everything that's good and lovely in his sight.
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Need help staying out of the dome? If it's internet porn that you partake of regularly, contact your ISP and ask them to cut off your service (you won't be missing much here in my garage - all I write about is sex).
Do talk to your pastor. Do talk to a friend. Do not hide any longer. Remember that you are not alone.
