That's not my problem

As an architect, I subscribe to promote the welfare of the public, striving to do no harm within the context of the work that I do. 

If only this were a universal theme for educated professionals.

If only this were a universal theme for myself within every aspect of my life.

Angie and I subscribe to cable television.  We have the most inexpensive package which provides us with around 15 channels.  I can remember when I was a child how exciting it was to gain access to a television that carried premium channels like HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, etc.  Just knowing that there was the possibility of seeing something "adult" was very enticing.

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I work in state government.  The paradigm within my occupation is much different than it was within the private sector, though like the private sector, there's a plethora of personality types that make up the workforce.  One distinct difference between the private and public sector is knowing exactly what your responsibilities are within your specific job description.

This is good on one hand from the standpoint of logic but difficult on another from the standpoint of compassion (or lack thereof).

I've had colleagues look at me and say that they literally didn't care one iota about me or my situation.  I can appreciate that for transparency's sake, but it certainly hurts to hear it.

It took at least 8 years of working alongside the same colleague to stumble upon that kind of honesty within the private realm.

My colleagues and I care for the Mississippians that we serve.  For me, it's part of my personality due to the fact that I'm a giver.  To a degree, I care for those I work alongside as well, despite the fact that we're all somewhat autonomous.

Know this:  I'm the guy who wonders how to help a homeless man (who doesn't look dangerous) as I'm driving by the sidewalk that he's traveling upon.

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Adult films are popular this time of year.  There are a few in theaters currently.  These are dark affairs with heaps of foul language, nudity, sexual themes (often with horrifically violent overtones), and so on.  Eventually, these films move onto the premium channels / DVD racks at Wal-Mart for anyone to see who has access to the remote or a few bucks.

When I was a child, adult films were tame by today's standards.  From the themes to the specific visual imagery / language, they are now cut from an entirely different cloth.

There's no sense of restraint or hold harmless within the current crop of adult films.  They're meant to do much more than entertain or inspire on any level.  I'm not saying they're no good, I'm just saying they're extreme.  And systemically inching closer and closer to the edge as each year passes.

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Those who produce, direct, and act within these films may have, at some point in time, worked within government.  That sense of autonomy between ones' peers that I described above is perhaps translated across the masses creating a definitive emotional disconnect between filmakers and audience. 

Let's all think (and feel) different, for God's sake, no matter our calling.  And no matter our circumstances.  Everything we do and say with what little time we're given on this Earth affects so many other individuals, both young and old.

And for those of you who subscribe to today's version of this celluloid genre on a regular basis, I urge you to cease and desist.  Don't support the films, etc. themselves and work towards avoiding the outlets by which they're impishly distributed.  And, yes I realize that might lead to some inconvenience, but taking a stand for others' well being is worth it in the long run.

Lagniappe
Lagniappe
Lagniappe

Holiday regret

"Tradition" is what so many holidays are made up of here in the deep South.  Perhaps that's the case where you're at as well.  Traditional events, traditional ceremonies, traditional foods, traditional decor and so on.  Traditions are easy to replicate year after year.  This is why they're so popular.  Botching something new and untried is an easy target for criticism and gossip.  We Southerners are well suited to honing in on those opportunities, therefore most people just stick with what they know and endure, knowing that it will all be over soon enough.

I'm neither for or against traditions, but what I am sure of is knowing when it's time for a change.

The holidays come around sooner year after year.  Sit down and decide now what you will do differently next year...for whatever reason.  Write it down if need be. 

And then, when next year comes, either refine your traditions or turn them on their head.  And don't worry about what anybody else thinks about it no matter what direction you choose.

Learn from your mistakes and from your missed opportunities.  And if you decide to celebrate Christmas in July, please invite me.  I have the perfect dip for it.

lordGay

Deeply wounded

What is the common thread that binds together gay / lesbian individuals?  What overarching similarity is there between them, whether they be acting out or celibate?  One might think it's their attraction sexually to the same sex, but I've discovered that attraction between the same sexes varies dramatically from individual to individual.  It can run rampant like a pack of wild horses or be as quietly annoying as a leaky faucet.  Both circumstances are derived from the same root but bring about their own challenges.

I had the privilege this past week to speak to a new friend who found me hear in cyberspace.  It was great to have the opportunity to hear his story.  He was as open an honest as one could be at one of life's crossroads.

I've known a number of gay and lesbians during my almost 40 years here on Earth.  Some of them I didn't realize at the time resided in that camp.  Others, I found there almost immediately.  The most interesting experience relative to that occurred at a conference I attended years ago here in Jackson.  Similar in build to "Love Won Out", it provided opportunity for fellowship and Biblical teaching for Christian gays and lesbians and their families.

During one of the breaks at this conference, I ran into an old friend from college.  What could have been a very awkward encounter instantly resulted in a return to the familiar in terms of our tangential relationship during our short stint together.  Both he and I were in the marching band back in the day.  He was one of the first guys I met on campus due to the fact that I was required to be there one week prior to class starting in order to participate in band camp.  Neither of us ever discussed our sexuality during those four years together, though we did talk openly about many other things.  During my freshman year, I was even able to spend some time with this family as they lived there in our small college town.  Upon seeing him in the lobby of the church where the conference was held, everything came together almost instantly within my mind.  I knew then what I'd always known, and I felt a sense of belonging that I wouldn't have known otherwise had I not made that reconnection.

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Perhaps we're just not as thick skinned as most.  I'm beginning to think that's where the crux of the problem lies.  Or maybe we simply don't have immune systems that work correctly to begin with, therefore a simple emotional nick can easily get infected and become much more serious.  And that, in turn, takes an extra long time to heal, not to mention be re-opened / festered with little to no effort.  Finally, at least as children, this pattern sets in as the norm and the wound becomes more than an injury.  It becomes, in many ways, part of the identifiable core of the person.

Eventually, a decision must be made regarding how to handle oneself relative to this wound / tendency to wound easily. 

The most disturbing coping method to witness is the excel technique.  This is not just putting your best foot forward.  It's doing so after removing everything from it, leaving just dry bone.  It's a divorcing of oneself from any authentic emotion(s) and therefore a decoupling from any recollection or even the slightest acknowledgement of the wound(s) or tendency thereof.

I digress...

Jesus Christ is the ultimate healer according to Scripture.  He knew the wound(s) of each and every individual he met, and if they allowed, was able to minister exactly as needed.

We are all inherently broken people.  Add to the fact that gays and lesbians are more easily crushed that much further during the early stages of our lives (and beyond).  This only serves to complicate things that much more as we grow and become in a fallen world.  How much more then do we need a Savior!  Not only to be healed and ultimately reassembled, but to be consistently ministered to by the Holy Spirit, finding supernatural courage and testimony to embrace our weaknesses even during the most difficult of circumstances.